What is a Divorce Coach…and Why do I Need One?

Getting divorced is highly emotional and often extremely overwhelming. I bet that you did not say to yourself on your wedding day “I’m going to start getting everything organized and emotionally prepare for my future divorce”. It’s often during this time of heightened emotional stress that you are trying to get all of your necessary documentation ready, as well as wade through the muddied waters of your feelings. To say it’s an emotional rollercoaster is an understatement.

Going from “we” to “me” can also feel very lonely and can even cripple you with fear. Many question if they can manage everything on their own. Questions like, “What does my future look like”? and “Why is my ex acting this way”? are common and need to be dealt with as you go though your divorce process. A divorce coach is your non-biased partner on this journey. Divorce coaching allows you to identify specific and achievable goals to move you forward in a positive direction. You owe it to yourself to put the building blocks in place to secure stability in your future. The tools learned will help you achieve desirable results throughout the divorce and gain the ability to work effectively with your ex on issues such as co-parenting and productive communication.

A divorce coach is there to help you identify your goals and values, which helps keep you focused on a more effective outcome for yourself. They help uncover what is actually keeping you stuck when you hit roadblocks and partner with you to develop action plans to move forward in a positive manner. Having a divorce coach as a neutral party to process the steps of your divorce is necessary. They help you stay grounded and focused on your goals without letting negative feelings cloud your judgement.

You may be wondering why you would choose to use a divorce coach over a traditional therapist and the truth is- you might need both! In traditional therapy, the process is different and often focuses more on your past experiences and how those are now impacting you. This is a healthy and worthwhile process, but very different than the work done in divorce coaching. Therapists are also able to diagnose specific mental health disorders and design their treatment accordingly. While these mental health concerns may surface during your divorce, the coaching process is there to facilitate your journey through the actual divorce. The goals are very specific and present/future oriented. Divorce coaching helps you move from where your are now, to where you want to be regarding your divorce.

Coaching will help you:

  • Find a confident voice in the divorce process
  • Gain clarity with difficult decisions
  • Develop skills to help manage conflict with your ex
  • Build a solid divorce and/or parenting plan
  • Diminish the negative effects of the divorce process for your children and yourself
  • Establish clear and comfortable boundaries with your ex
  • Gain skills as a single parent and co-parent 
  • Explore career transition to gain financial independence 
  • Navigate dating and new relationships
  • Develop healthy blended families
  • Significantly lower attorney fees by working through issues outside of the attorney’s office
  • Receive an unbiased perspective from someone who understands the divorce process

Aside from the emotional support gained from divorce coaching, the financial savings is often a big draw to using coaching services. While the initial upfront cost of divorce coaching might seem like just another added expense during a potentially unstable financial time, it actually is able to save you in the long run. Those who utilize coaching services spend less in legal fees and shorten their divorce process significantly. By using your coaching sessions as a space to detangle your feelings and develop confidence in the decisions you are making, the time spent with your lawyer is more proactive and effective, which ultimately saves both time and money.

Knowing first hand how hard the divorce process can be is the very reason I started Thriving Ahead Divorce Coaching. I knew there had to be a smoother way to travel this difficult life path. Divorce coaching offers you the option of finding peace, strength, empowerment in the divorce process. This ultimately will help you find the happiness you are looking for beyond your divorce.