Find Your Zen While Getting Divorced

Life itself is stressful and often leaves us unbalanced. Add getting divorced into the mix and you may find yourself completely out of sync. Long to-do lists and figuring out how to manage the changes that come with this new chapter in your life often leaves little time to do the things to keep yourself centered throughout the divorce process.

Staying in a grounded frame of mind will help ease anxiety and allow you to think with a clear mind. It is easy to push these quick tasks aside as you try to knock out a few more things during the day. In reality, these should be your first priority. Focusing on the time to bring yourself to a centered state can increase your ability to make confident decision, reduce anger and anxiety, and allow you to acknowledge and process all of your emotions. These strategies do not have to take a great deal of time or resources. Here are a few quick ways to find and keep you zen while getting divorced.


The mind is a powerful tool and we have the power to control it. If you find yourself focusing on negativity, as common in the divorce process, we slowly train our brain to stay on the negative hamster wheel. We have to actually stop those thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations or mantras. This simple step with help block the floodgates to seeing everything from a negative point of view. I suggest starting each day with a positive thought that you repeat to yourself. Give yourself a set amount of time to do this. If negative or anxiety provoking thoughts enter your mind, simply put those aside and return to your positive mantra. Nothing like starting the day on a positive note.


Like the affirmations, imagery is a way we can have power over our minds, especially when feeling anxious. Imagery allows you to use positive images to manipulate your body into a calming state even when stressors are on going. To do this, pick a a calm image and use all of your senses to transplant yourself there. Imagine the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and how things feel. Combined with deep breathing, this technique will help you slow your heart rate and lower anxious feelings. This does not remove the stress, but it does prepare the body to handle it in a more effective way. There are many resource and apps that can walk you through the guided imagery process if you feel stuck with this one.


Essential oils have powerful healing and calming properties. They help promote feelings of mindfulness, peace, and tranquility. Others provide a source of strength and healing. Whether you diffuse them, use them topically, or ingest them, they have amazing benefits that promote holistic wellness. This only scratches the surface on oils and there are entire blogs and books related to the use of oils, so I won’t pretend to sum it all up in one paragraph. Essential oils are definitely worth exploring as a tool to help you keep your personal peace through the divorce process.


I cannot leave yoga off the list of ways to find your zen! It’s the image we all conger up when we hear the word “zen” and there is a reason for that. IT WORKS! What a better way to center your mind and body than yoga. When you engage in the meditative and grounding aspects of yoga, you are once again priming your body and mind to fight the battles of the day, including your divorce.

These techniques will not take away the stressors in your divorce or give the magic answer to your difficult decisions. They are here to provide a mindful and deliberate break from reality to reset your body and mind. This allows you to make clearer choices, address issues effectively, and feel strength in your own abilities. Our bodies and emotions can quickly escalate during the divorcing process. We often live in fight or flight mode and move from one difficult decision to another. We owe it to ourselves to get out of that anxious state for a little while to heal and regenerate. Namaste.